5 Powerful Strategies Building Emotional Resilience in Children

Emotional resilience in children is one of the most valuable skills we can help them develop. It gives them the ability to handle stress, adapt to change, and recover from setbacks. In this post, we’ll share five straightforward strategies to build emotional resilience for children and help them better understand and manage their emotions. You’ll also find helpful resources to dig deeper into these techniques.

What is Emotional Resilience for Children?

Emotional resilience is about bouncing back from tough situations, managing stress, and keeping things in perspective. When children develop resilience, they learn to understand their emotions, make thoughtful decisions, and build healthy relationships. The key to fostering emotional resilience in children is to model healthy behavior, create supportive environments, and teach practical skills they can use daily. Learn more about our workshops on emotional resilience that provide hands-on activities and strategies for parents and children.

1. Be Open About Your Own Emotions

One of the best ways to teach children about emotional resilience is by showing them how it’s done. Kids watch and learn from how we (and others they observe – think school, playground, etc.) handle our emotions. Be open about how you’re feeling and show healthy ways to cope. For example, saying, “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm down,” demonstrates that emotions are normal and manageable.

Suppose you’re feeling frustrated after a long day at work. Instead of bottling it up or snapping at your child, express how you’re feeling and show them how you manage it: “I had a really tough day today, and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I think a walk outside will help me feel better.” This not only models emotional regulation but also provides your child with practical coping strategies they can use.

Our parenting workshops offer tools and techniques to help you model healthy emotional habits for your child.

2. Make Space for Their Feelings

“When children feel understood, they can more easily integrate difficult experiences and emotions, allowing them to develop resilience and thrive in the face of adversity.”

Dr. Dan Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child

Create an environment where it’s okay for your child to talk about their feelings without fear of being judged. Encourage them to express what’s on their mind with open-ended questions like, “What made you smile today?” or “Did anything bother you today?” When they share, acknowledge their feelings with phrases like “It’s okay to feel that way.” This lets them know their feelings are valid and builds trust.

Set aside a “feelings check-in” time each day, perhaps around dinner or bedtime, where every family member shares how they felt throughout the day. You can do this at the beginning of the day or on the drive back from school. Make sure to listen actively without interrupting or immediately solving their problems. Simply acknowledging their feelings can make a huge difference.

3. Teach Them Words to Express Emotions

A big part of resilience is knowing how to talk about what we’re feeling. Help your child build an emotional vocabulary so they can better express themselves. Use tools like emotion charts or feelings flashcards to introduce words like angry, frustrated, joyful, or nervous. The more words they know, the better they can understand and manage their emotions.

Create an “Emotion Wheel” with your child that includes various emotions categorized under basic feelings (like happiness, sadness, anger, and fear). Practice with them regularly by identifying what emotions they might be feeling and where they fall on the wheel. This exercise helps them pinpoint and articulate their feelings more accurately.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques Together

Mindfulness is a great way to help kids stay calm and focused. Try simple activities like deep breathing, guided imagery, or mindful coloring. Older kids might enjoy keeping a journal or practicing relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation. These practices can help them become more aware of their feelings and reactions, which is a big part of emotional resilience.

Introduce a daily “Mindful Minute” where your child spends one minute focusing on their breath, listening to calming music, or thinking about things they are grateful for. Making this a family practice could be a wonderful opportunity to connect. This simple practice can help them learn to center themselves during stressful moments and empower them with the tools to provide the same support back to their peers and family.

5. Encourage Positive Self-Talk and Problem-Solving

“A growth mindset helps children embrace challenges and persist in the face of setbacks. By promoting positive self-talk, we empower them to see mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than signs of failure.”

Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Encourage your child to use positive self-talk. Instead of saying, “I’m bad at this,” guide them to say, “I’m still learning, and I can improve.” This kind of thinking helps them face challenges with confidence. Teaching problem-solving skills is equally important. When faced with a problem, help them break it down: What’s the issue? What are some possible solutions? Who can help us with this? What could happen with each option? This way, they learn to handle problems on their own and feel more in control.

When your child is struggling with a difficult homework problem, guide them through a step-by-step process: “What is the problem? What have you tried so far? What else could you try? What do you think might happen?” This approach encourages independence and critical thinking.

Building Emotional Resilience is a Lifelong Gift

Helping your child build emotional resilience doesn’t mean shielding them from every challenge. Instead, it’s about equipping them with the tools to handle difficult situations and emotions. By staying patient, modeling healthy coping strategies, and offering consistent support, you’re giving your child the skills they need to grow up emotionally strong and capable.

Start with these simple strategies and adjust as you see what works best for your child.

Bring Emotional Resilience Workshops to Your Organization or Community

Our workshops on emotional resilience for children aren’t just for families; they’re also great for schools, employee resource groups, and community organizations looking to support the well-being of young people. If you’re interested in hosting a workshop or training session for your organization, employee resource group, or community gathering, please fill out our interest form to get started. We offer tailored programs to fit the unique needs of your group, helping everyone learn practical strategies to foster emotional health and resilience.

Helpful Resources for Building Emotional Resilience in Children

Common Sense Media: Offers resources, reviews, and advice on digital well-being, media literacy, and emotional health for kids and teens. It helps parents and educators navigate the digital world by providing guidance on age-appropriate content, managing screen time, and fostering healthy online habits, all of which contribute to building emotional resilience and balanced development in children.

Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley which provides research-based articles, tools, and resources focused on emotional intelligence, mindfulness, empathy, and well-being for families and educators. The center offers practical tips and exercises that help children and teens develop emotional resilience, empathy, and a positive mindset, promoting a more balanced and mindful approach to everyday life.

The Zones of Regulation: Provides tools and resources to help children identify and regulate their emotions effectively. It includes a framework that uses four colored zones to help kids understand their feelings, energy states, and sensory needs, along with strategies to manage them. This approach is widely used by parents, teachers, and therapists to support emotional and behavioral regulation in children.

Child Mind Institute offers expert advice, articles, and resources on children’s mental health and emotional development. They provide practical tools and strategies for parents to help their children manage anxiety, depression, ADHD, and other emotional challenges. The institute is dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health issues by offering guidance on building emotional resilience and healthy coping mechanisms.

Stay Connected for More Tips and Resources!

Building emotional resilience for children is an ongoing process, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. Sign up for our monthly newsletter to receive expert advice, upcoming workshops, and valuable resources straight to your inbox. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or community leader, our newsletter is packed with practical tools and insights to help you support the emotional growth of the children in your life. Sign up here to join our community!